Hold On

 

Don't.... Let.... Go!!!

Good Morrow everyone! As promised, here is part 2!  I'm trying to write more often now. Thanks so much for all the feedback and views! I love writing for you guys, and it's great to know that there's someone out there reading! 

If you haven't read part 1 of this post yet, you really should before you read any further! Go on, I'll wait.

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Still waiting....

uhuh uhuh uhuh.....

Keep going....

Done?

Good!

For those of you who need a recap, or missed part one:

Last time on 'Wanted'.....

We started with the quote "My future is not a broken piano at the bottom of the ocean!" What's that supposed to mean??? Last time I explained the first half: the broken piano.

Think of life this way: We are all instruments. Sometimes we get out of tune - slide into sin. In God hands were are fixed, and able to make beautiful melodies even in our brokenness. Then God takes the broken and makes it new. So even when we're broken God can use us, just like He used David and the others discussed last time. Then we become not so broken after all. Our imperfections cannot be the center of our focus because then we are held back from what God wants us to do. God wants us to shine like the sun, to shine through our imperfections and show the world how He loves us. We can't do that if we stay broken. And He can't fix us unless we let Him. We left off by saying that if we let God take us and make us anew, then our imperfections won't matter anymore, and will eventually (if not altogether disappear) no longer be an obstacle. God makes us perfect even amidst our imperfections.

So my (and you) future is not a broken piano. If I let God in then he will retune my life, fix the broken parts, and make me good as new.

But what in the world is this ocean stuff?

After that long introduction, I present to you part 2.....

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The Precipice

In the recent movie Les Miserables Jean Valjean says something... well... sorta depressing

I am reaching but I fall

And the night is closing in

And I stare into the void

To the whirlpool of my sin

Not exactly a happy image is it? Valjean had been on the verge of despair. He had been in jail for 20 years and was finally released only to find that the world outside can be just as cruel. He resorted to thieving, but was shown mercy for his actions. And so he comes to a turning point. Does he continue in the spiral of his life? Does the whirlpool of his sin continue to suck him down?

It's interesting that he used that image. A whirlpool. They are really interesting you know? You can see them far off and they might even look a little appealing. As you draw closer, the edges are gentle. There is only a little pull towards the middle. It seems safe. After all, you can always turn back from such a tiny pull. The problem is that the pull doesn't stay tiny. As you go further and further in the current gets stronger and stronger. Soon it's impossible to turn back even if you want to. The pull is just too strong to resist, and you are sucked down the middle and into the deep.

Fun stuff.

And this whole void thing. A dark, vast empty space. An Abyss. Standing on the edge. About to fall. Reaching for the light, but slipping further into the dark.
Not really a happy picture.

These metaphors make a point. Sin is insidious. It at first appears simple. Fun. Inviting. Like the current at the edge of the whirlpool. I'll just take one pack of gum, nobody will notice. I'll just cheat on one quiz, who cares, we all do it? I'll just sneak a peak this one time, no big deal. Like the whirlpool though, the soft current is misleading. The 'just this once' mentality may be fine 'just that once'.... but just this once rarely ever happens. The current of the whirlpool gets stronger and stronger. Just this once becomes 'ah, a few times is fine' and that becomes 'just one more' until you're trapped in sin. Staring into the void. Caught in the whirlpool. Pretty soon you're at the bottom of the ocean.

At some points we all get there. Trapped by one thing or another. It doesn't even have to be big. Maybe it's small - pride, vanity, sleeping too much, etc. At one time or another we all end up at the precipice. At the edge of the void. Staring into the dark. Do we jump in, or rather fall in, or do we turn back before it's too late? Far too often it's the first. And far too often we don't even mean to. Part of the the problem is once we have that first compromise, it's harder and harder to say no.

If there current is so strong, if it's so hard to escape, how do we have any hope of doing it?

The answer might surprise you.
We don't.

Yeah, you heard me right. Alone, we can't do it.
So then what? We just sit there and let our demons control us?
Could that ever be the right answer?

WE can't make it alone. But we can do it if we turn to God. I am not strong enough to beat my shortcomings based on willpower alone. Maybe some of you are. But not me. The current is too strong. I try to swim out, but it pulls me in faster than I can control. But God can. He is stronger than the current. He reaches in to the depths and fishes me out, giving me the strength to move on. When I turn to Him, I can overcome all things, even climbing out of the abyss.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says:
"No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it."

 God is with us in all of our trials, tribulations, and battles. And He's not going to let us be sucked under if we turn to Him. But we have to ask for help. So many times I know I could be better, but it's just easier not to try. Every time I ask for help I am able to ignore temptation and climb farther out of the abyss. Sometimes I reach and I fall, but He picks me back up again. As I stand on the precipice, He reaches out, fighting off the darkness. He beckons to me and you, trying to stop us from going over.

He goes into the depths and rescues us from the bottom of our own oceans - oceans of sin, darkness, depression, and fear. He pulls us out and sets us on high so that we might life for, with, and in Him.

We are not meant for the bottom of the ocean. We are not meant to fall off the precipice. We are meant for more. We are meant to show the world God's love. We are meant to be free. People say God's controlling. People say He has too many rules. You want to know why the rules are in place? The rules are there to free us. Weird, I know, but listen. God tells us not to commit adultery - including premarital sex, etc.. He doesn't do it so that he can deprive us of fun. What comes of it? Well unexpected pregnancies, sex/porn addictions, affairs, lies, hatred, families torn apart, etc. all because of a little lust. The rule is there so that we are free from all that. He says don't lie, not so that our lives are difficult, but to free us from getting trapped in our own lies; to free us from living a lie. These are just a few examples. The rules help to keep us from the edge in the first place. That's not controlling. That's love. True love is being able to say "You can't do this. If you do you'll destroy yourself." True love is able to tell someone no. Freedom from sin is the gift He gives, if we reach out and take it.

Still, often the rules are seen and ignored, or seen as limitations in spite of what they are. We all do it sometimes. In those moments, when we put ourselves on the edge, he reaches out, and draws us in. When we fall He digs in His heels and yanks us out. He dives into the deep and saves us from ourselves.

We are not meant for the bottom of the ocean.
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It's easy to end up on the edge, and it's scary. But don't give in! It's not worth it, and it's never too late to turn back! God's right there, just waiting for you to ask for help!

If you've already gone over the edge, don't despair! It's never too late. God is waiting for you too. Just ask and He'll rescue you from the deep. You'll have to work with Him, He won't do it alone. But if you are willing to work with Him, you can climb out, and be lifted higher then ever before. David fell. Paul fell. Peter fell. But God pulled them up and set them as examples for what we can be. They were imperfect and caught in their own sins, but God turned them into something new and beautiful. They are examples for all. No matter how deep you are, you can be free. God uses everyone, and He's got a plan for you too.

Either way I STRONGLY suggest running to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Be free of all that's weighing you down. Don't let the current pull you in.

Remember 1 Corinthians 10:13 whenever you are struggling.  It's helped me tremendously and it can help you too.

The song I leave you with is Home by Phillip Phillips. Go listen to it. Imagine God's singing it to you.

Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave is stringing us along
Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm going to make this place your home


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"My future is not a broken piano at the bottom of the ocean!" I exclaimed to my friends last week. But when I thought about it, it was so true. Not only was it true for me, but for everyone.

I am not meant to be a broken instrument. When I turn to God, He fixes me and makes me new. My future is meant to be bright and beautiful. I am meant to play a melody only I can play. My future is a brand new baby grand that plays loud for all to hear.

I am not meant to remain at the bottom of the ocean. I am meant to be free from the whirlpool. I am meant to be free from the depths of my own sin. God lifts me out when I turn to Him for strength. He sets me on high and lifts me up. He shields me from temptation and helps me to grow in love for Him and others.

My future is not a broken piano at the bottom of the ocean! And NEITHER IS YOURS!
Rejoice! In God our futures are something great: A concert on a mountaintop, loud enough for all to hear. A beautiful melody is played by The Player. A special song that only you can make. A special message to the world.

A concert on a mountaintop awaits you in Him. Be free. God is with you. Run to Him. Let Him play your song.

Until next time friends,
God Bless you! I'm praying for you all!

~Wanted~

Broken Instruments

Broken Instruments

There's no use to a broken instrument.... is there?

Hey everyone! It's been a long time since we last talked, I know! Time just flies! College applications, scholarship stuff, school, family, friends, etc. takes up a lot of time. As an update: my dog did indeed die later that week, and it was sad. Soon we might be getting a new one. School's great and life is good. Just really busy.

It's sad that it's so busy because I love writing to you all (all 7 of you haha) so much! And there are so many stories I'd love to share. I've started quite a few posts since the last one, but never finished them. I will though. So if you wake up one day and there's a flood of new stories, you'll know why! There are so many more things to write about now, and so many new people that I know. Friends I made on retreats, at a competition at Franciscan University, people I once knew that now I know again. So many great topics too! Life, Death, Light, etc. There is a whole new world ( ; of writing out there to explore, and now that my sports are done, expect more soon!

Being busy has another problem too. It hurts life in other ways. Sometimes it's hard to keep on top of everything and it gets easy to slip. It takes time and patience. And sometimes we have neither. Sometimes it just feels like we (or at least I) just feel like we're broken. Like a broken ... hmmm.... like.....

I got it!!
A Broken Instrument

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Imperfection

A few days ago I was hanging out at a friend's house and we were watching the Titanic. At the beginning of the movie you see a broken piano lying on the ocean floor. I LOVE to play music, and had just finished giving my friends a mini-concert a few minutes before. One of my friends, trying to be supportive, said "Look! It's your future!" Of course what they meant was the piano, but the comment was odd. "My future is not a broken piano at the bottom of the ocean!" It was funny at the time, and is now one of my favorite quotes. But more than that, it has a lot of meaning.

Instruments are made to be used. Medical instruments are made to keep people safe, do surgeries, monitor vital signs, etc. Mathematical instruments are used to make life easier. My favorite is musical instruments. They are made to be played and make beautiful music. Like all instruments, they are useless unless they are guided by a learned hand. In that case they can do things that mystify men and bring unspeakable beauty into the world. Pianos can say things with notes that words can never express. They can show you the deepest core of who a person is. Their music can cause changes of heart, or can move people to do great things.

Every piano needs a player however. It will just sit there until someone comes along with the know-how and makes it shine. And more than that, every piano needs to work. An out of tune piano can still work, but much of the beauty of the song is lost in the process. A broken piano is even worse because it can't be used at all.

Yes I know this is a long metaphor, but Bear With Me (see what I did there?).

I was in adoration a few weeks ago and I was praying, about many things. I had felt the slide and wanted to get back on track. Yet despite my slide, I still saw God doing great things in my life, and saw Him working through me to help others. I started to reflect on it and ask Him: Why use me? I'm broken. I'm fallen. I'm imperfect. There are others out there who are better for the job, or who handle things better than I do. Why not them? The answer to that is a bit complex.

Have you ever read the Bible? If you have, you'll see a shocking pattern. God uses imperfect people time and time again. Jonah - runs away from God, doubts Him, does God's will anyway. David -  adulterer and liar, one of the greatest kings and also the line from which the Savior came. Peter - a humble fisherman who doubted Jesus every step of the way, became the leader of the Church. Paul - killed and persecuted Christians, became a Church father. The list of imperfect people goes on and on and on. God didn't pick the best looking, or the most outspoken - the worldly 'best' for the job. He picks those who He decides are the best ones to do it.

Why God? Why use broken instruments? A tuned piano sounds so much better than the music a broken one makes. Right then my heart felt like that - a broken piano. Why would God pick me to do a job when I'm so broken myself?

 God picks the imperfect - David, Peter, me - to show the world His glory, His love, and, believe it or not, everyone's innate worth. God shows us His glory - 'Look. I can use even the imperfect to draw creation closer to myself.' His love - 'I don't see their brokenness. All I see is their worth. All I see is the beautiful, wonderful work of my hands. It is good.' Your Worth - 'Look at what the broken can do with my love. Nothing is impossible for you. No action can keep me away from you. You are good because I made you. I don't see your imperfections. I see your talents. If I can use someone like David, I can use you too.'

 God is so amazing that he can make beautiful music even WITH an out of tune piano. In fact, He goes one better. He takes the broken piano, plays the beautiful music, and in so doing fixes the piano to be more in tune and melodious then ever before. In choosing us to do His will, He not only helps others and shows how there is nothing we can't do if we turn to Him (as well as showing that God can use anyone, even the deepest sinner), He heals our hearts and souls in the process. We become more whole, and less broken, the more we turn to Him.

So Why? "Because I love you."

Maybe the answer is more simple after all. God is the player. If we let Him work in us, he can make even a broken piano (a hurting soul) do marvelous things. 

If you are feeling unworthy or imperfect, turn to the Bible. Start there. Read the stories of the broken people God used to create a great nation; to lead His people. Look at the saints. St. Augustine was terrible in his youth, and look at him! One of the greatest Saints and Theologians the Church has ever had. Even if you aren't Christian you can learn from them. They are stories about the dignity and worth of each and every human being. We all matter, and no matter our faults we can all rise to do great things.

Let God in. The Player wants to fix your broken heart, and unlock your song within. (YES I know it's corny, but hey, I started this metaphor and I have to stick to it!) Being a broken instrument is just the beginning.

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"Bubububububut wait! You never finished explaining your ocean quote!" you might be saying. Yes, I know. Guess what?! This is a 2 parter! *GASP* I had to say this part. It needed to be said. The second message the quote will tell you, and the deeper meaning of it, well that is soon to come. Don't worry, I didn't forget! This post would just be too long if I did it all in one! My future isn't a broken piano (the part discussed tonight) at the bottom of the ocean (explained next time), and neither is yours!

The song I leave you with is a song by the band Gungor, called "Beautiful things"

You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of the dust.
You make beautiful things, You make beautiful things out of us.
You make me new, You are making me new.

If you haven't heard this song already, look it up! It is really good. I think it fits the theme tonight. God makes beautiful things even out of the dust on the ground. He makes beautiful music with broken instruments. He makes beautiful things out of us.

I know I used it already, but the verse for tonight is Jer 29:11. God's always got us, even when we don't see it.

You are worth more than you can ever know.

Stay His.

Until next time,
~Wanted~

It's So Hard To Say Goodbye

Sorry for taking so long to write! School's so busy! Man it knows how to get in the way of important things! haha :p. Well I'm going through a bit of a rough time here, and so I thought instead of just moping, I'd turn it into creativity. I've already written 2 songs, and now I decided that it's time to write again. I have a whole bunch more ideas coming your way soon, so stay tuned and stick with me. I won't let you down!

As I write this post, my dog is dying. Don't worry, it's ok. He's just very old, and it's his time. I'd be lying if I said this were easy though. It's been a lifetime with him, or at least it feels that way. Life's going to be very different when he's gone. His ridiculous personality, excitement at every new person, and hakuna matata philosophy (if dogs can have philosophy.... separate topic for a separate time. You know what I mean. ... Back to the topic!) I get a little personal tonight, so please cut me some slack. With that, the topic tonight is a toughie....

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Letting Go

Fuuun topic right?! If you couldn't tell that was sarcasm there. It's a topic that none of us want to face, but we all have to at one point or another. It might be small things like old childhood toys, or bigger like a friend moving away or people growing up, or maybe even a death  of a pet or relative. In any case,  it's never easy.

It's been two days since I started writing the stuff above, and I've had a lot of time to think. Yeah my dog's still here. Poor buddy. But God's given me exactly what I needed: time. He gave me time to say goodbye. I've mourned, and while I'm sad that he's going, I can only be thankful for the amazing life that he had until now, and thankful for all the time I had with a wonderful dog. There's something very peaceful in that. Not being bitter. But thankful. Reflect on what you do have. It makes losing things much easier.

Like I said, I'd be deluding you if I said you never had to let go of anything. Some things are easier than others. For instance if I have to let go of this blog. Yeah, I'd be a little sad because I enjoy writing, but I wouldn't get upset about it, and the world would be fine. Other things are a BIG deal. Like a friend moving away. Or a death.  The larger things are the toughies. Being used to having that person/animal/sentimental thing there and then one day it's gone... it's difficult. So what do you do?

Like I said, Focus on the positive. As I sat with my dog just petting him the other night, I thought back on all the good times we've had together. The first night we brought him home my little brother was eating a bacon cheeseburger. We got home and he took one bite out of it, and the whole thing fell on the floor. Before we had a second to react, the dog ran up and ate it in seconds. It might not be that funny to someone who doesn't know him, but if you do, it means something really special. Or that time that he dragged me down the street as he chased a cat ( Man could he pull! It was like trying to hold back a bull!). Or when we used to wrestle when he was younger. And so many other things. All the good times came back. And it helped me.

It helps so much to focus on the positive. If you focus on the bad times when you have to let people/animals/things/etc. go, you will only end up making yourself even more upset than you were in the first place. By focusing on the good memories, you can ease your pain, and letting go becomes just a little easier. Why? Because you keep in mind what a great run you've had, and that that time will be special, but that it's time to move on.

Which leads me to part 2: Acceptance. Yep, unfortunately this is also part of it. You have to come to terms with the fact that what you have to let go of is gone. I love my dog so much. I'm really going to miss him. But no matter how upset I get, or angry, or what have you, I can't bring him back. It's just his time. I'm so thankful for the time we had together, and understand that God's calling him back now. It's the nature of life. Death follows life follows death follows life. A cycle. By focusing on the good and seeing all the good things that happened in our time with what we love, it becomes easier to accept that it's gone, and move on. And let go. That doesn't mean you don't mourn. Goodness have I mourned. But it's made his death so much easier when I stopped getting myself worked up. I realize that he's old and there's nothing anyone can do, so instead of getting upset, I accepted that this really is it. Now I can focus on making him as comfortable for the rest of the time that he's here, however long that may be. When you accept the situation as it is, you can work to make the best out of it as possible.

Again, this doesn't mean you don't mourn. I'll still be really upset when he dies. In fact, it's so difficult to even write this, but it's a way of helping me cope. I've been sad all week. My friends at school can tell something's a little off. And that's fine, normal, good. Why? We don't mourn for things we never loved. We don't miss things we never cared about. We don't get upset over things that don't have meaning to us. When we mourn, it's proof (at least to some extent) that we loved in the first place. As death is a part of life, so is mourning. And it's not good to skip this step. If you do, you can end up bottling things, which is unhealthy. Mourn. Let yourself be sad, and then when you are ready, move on. All I'm saying is that we can't let mourning rule our lives. Sadness is fine, but then the people we miss, animals, etc. wouldn't want us to spend the rest of our lives upset because they aren't there. I know I wouldn't. If I died tomorrow, I'd appreciate people missing me, but I wouldn't want them to spend the rest of their lives upset because I'm gone. There's so much more out there than just me! or your special one, animal, what have you. See where I'm going with this?

There's one more important thing: don't go at it alone. That doesn't mean you walk around telling everyone "Oh I'm SOOOO upset and I want you to be too!" It does mean that you have a few people that you can lean on in your time of need. .. or if you're reading this and you've talked to me this week you know that for me this time, it's been a lot of people. Whatever the case may be, remember the saying "your mind is a bad neighborhood, never go in it alone." I know for me there's been one friend of mine who knows exactly what I'm going through and has helped me through every step. It makes a big difference. Yes, sometimes we just want to be alone when we are sad, but other times it helps to surround yourself with people. It eases the pain and takes your mind off of it. To all my friends who are helping me through this, I say thank you. And to that one friend, who knows who he/she is, I thank you deeply. I think we're even now ;).

As a parting, remember this. It helps to say goodbye. Saying goodbye and letting go is never easy. But we all have to face it. You can. Remember that you are never alone! God is always here, and can get you through everything. He's helped me so much this week, and probably more than I'll ever know in ways that I'll never know. He's waiting if you ever need him. As you let go, pray this. God bless.

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. - Numbers6:24-26
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Hope this helps. And thanks for letting me rant. This week of all weeks I needed it. Saying goodbye, letting go, moving on, it's painful. But as one door closes, another opens. To quote Doctor Who "This song is ending, but the story never ends." As this is partly a tribute to my dog, I think you'd get a kick out of reading "A Dog Named Beau" by Jimmy Stewart (http://www.reelclassics.com/Actors/Jimmy/jimmy-poem.htm). It's a beautiful poem that I had to perform in 4th grade. I didn't have the feelings behind it then. Now I do. I wish I didn't.

I know you'll never read this buddy (you're a dog, duh!!) but I'm really going to miss you. Thanks for all the fun, all the comfort, all the laughter, and even all the bugging me. You always cheered me up. Sometimes I took you for granted. I'm sorry. I'm really going to miss you. Rest in Peace buddy.

"Life won't ever be quite the same,
I'll always love a dog named Blaine"

~Wanted~

What If?

A Scary Question!

"What" and "If" are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? What if? What if?

                                                                                            ~Letters to Juliet~      

OK OK, so ignore the fact that that the quote I just used was from a chick flick. They fit! Yeah these two posts are really close together (or at least they are when I started this one!) But like I said, I just got inspiration to write about this, and when I do I need to write or I'll lose what I wanted to say! And if you know me.... well I talk just a little too much! So it's better for me to get things out here.

I'm doing something I haven't done so far, and don't normally plan on doing, but this time needed it. The topic tonight is exactly the title. It comes from one of my heroes, Mark Hart. And it leads to the true topic tonight. So I guess maybe I'm not so far off after all. Without further ado, the topic of the night...

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What If?    

What if is a scary question to ask. It's one that can get us into a lot of trouble. It can waste a life. What if I'd chosen not to do that? What if I'd said yes? What if I did move? What if? Like the quote said above, those two little tiny words can make you rethink your life a million times over. But they have power to evoke great change in your life. Why is this the topic of the night? Well it's leading into the true topic.

The Eucharist

The source and summit of our faith. Jesus Christ truly present, body, blood, soul, and divinity. The greatest gift humanity has ever been given. Even the angels cannot receive this gift! The true presence of Christ is also one of the hardest things in all of existence to accept. Notice I didn't say understand. I don't think any of us will really ever fully understand it. But accept. It's one of the things that is non-negotiable of the Catholic faith. (If you're not Catholic and you haven't figured it out by now, this one's kinda geared towards them. Feel free to read though!) ... (In fact do read!) ... (And tell your friends too!) ... (But now I'm getting off topic...)

But even though we profess to believe it, so many people in their heart of hearts don't! And you know what? I don't judge them at all. I have to pray all the time for help in that area. Rather I pray for them too. It's such a beautiful gift if we take time to process the full impact of it. And yet so many people go up to receive it each and every weekend not knowing. Not believing. Oh it's just a piece of bread. Oh let's hurry so we can get out of the parking lot. Oh I wonder what I'm doing later.

What if?

I understand it's hard to believe. But Mark Hart offers an amazing prayer. I learned about it at a life night recently and it's stuck with me since then. It doesn't take long to pray, but it can change your life. If you're struggling with the True Presence, or even if you're not and you just want a different form of meditation, try this.

The next time you go up for communion, even if you don't believe pray "God, what if that's really you?"

Two small words.

What if?

What if that's really God? What would that mean? What amazing gifts would that bring? How could my life change if I really believed that? What if that bread is no longer bread, but the King of the Universe?

What if?

It's such an impactful prayer if you are willing to be open to the answers you might receive. It's not easy to believe in the Eucharist. It's such a very very difficult thing that God asks us to do. But the benefits are so much more. So next time ask... What If?

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Yeah, this one was shorter, but it needed to be! I just really wanted to share this message! I'm really just repeating what others have told me so I TAKE NO CREDIT FOR WHAT WAS SAID IN THIS POST. It was really just a compilation of what others have told me.

Here's the talk Mark Hart gave to help:

http://fathershane.com/post/12560757184/awesome-reflection-by-mark-hart-what-if-jesus-is

Let's see... verse and song, that's what's missing!

Verse is easy! John 6:35: 

"I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never go thirsty"

He said it, not me!

And now for the song!

From "What If" by Nichole Nordeman:

"But what if you're wrong? What if there's more?
What if there's hope you've never dreamed of hoping for?
What if You jump? Just close your eyes.
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by suprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?"

What if?

I think I'll write more on the Eucharist soon. There's so much that needs to be said!

Two in one day! Man! Hope they're good!

Until next time, God Bless!

~Wanted~

         

Do you trust Me?

He IS the fulfillment of all desire!

Summer's been so slow on writing, but so fast on growth! So many new experiences, new friends, new relationships, a new me. The life lessons I've learned and the people I've met will stay with me forever. It's been a roller-coaster of a summer - I've had my ups and downs, but God is good all the time and all the time God is good. Each and every experience I had was for a reason, and I wouldn't trade a single one.

I guess you could say this is my summer wrap up. Maybe I'll have another post this week, I'm not sure. For me, school started Monday. YUCK! That means it's finally time to start all that summer work! Just kidding! Though I should finish that reading!

Summer recap? Work for 7 weeks in an awesome lab with amazing people. Steubenville South - the Eight Day, the dawn of new creation. LTLC!!!!!!!!!! THE highlight of the summer! Living in Radiant Joy! There I met friends who I know will keep me going strong and on the right path. And I finally opened myself up to my vocation. (More on that later). Then came ACTS. I never knew how fulfilling service could be until now. Man I wish it never had to end! But then it's just a beginning right? The beginning of a new life. Of a new me. This summer has me resolved to become a better man. Because I finally feel like a man. Yeah I know that's corny, but it means something to me. To know what it means to be a man. But that's another post for another time.

"No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." John 15:13. Going back to my vocation, I think that this quote is meant for us all. I'm finally ready to let go and let God. We all should, but trusting Him is so very, very hard. Therefore the topic tonight is.....

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Dying.... To Yourself

or another way to put it....

Trust Him

Haha no worries, this isn't a blog about death!!! It's all about trust. I started to write this post a week ago, but I just didn't have inspiration for it. When I write, I have to be passionate about it, or it's no good. Well  God gave me that inspiration, just later. Funny how He does things sometimes. All I'm going to say tonight basically boils down to this: If we trust Him we can do all things. If we stray... well then things won't go so well. Many of our problems in life stem from that fact that we are too strong. Say What?? Yes I did just say that. Or rather not that we really are too strong, but that we try to be on our own. We try and try and try on our own, and sometimes we make it, but many times we don't. In Him there is no thing that is impossible; when we become vulnerable He makes us strong.

I learned this past week that far too often God is our last resort. We try to handle our own problems on our own, and things go downhill. We turn to so many different places, and none of them work. Then finally when we are bent and broken and crushed, when all bets are off, when we are on the brink of despair, THEN we turn to God for help. And of course, over time, it all works out. What would happen if each and every time we encountered a problem we turned to Him first? That addiction: gone. That family feud: dissolved. That self-loathing: erased. Now, I'm not saying He's gonna erase all of your problems, because sadly, at least in my experience, that's not how God works. But I am saying that He's gonna help you, so that you don't have to be strong. If you can be vulnerable to God, then He'll open you up to His grace, which is enough to conquer any problem you ever encounter.

So where does this come in with self-sacrifice and trust? Well the reason God is a last resort is that wonderful human part of us that becomes corrupt sometimes: our pride. We are far too often to proud to simply let someone else in and lead us. It's an act of death to self to trust another person. To let another in to make plans for us. See the funny thing is, God already has plans for us! (Jer. 29:11) He just lets us go about making our own plans because, as we are beings with free will, He won't force us to do anything. But His plans are so much greater than ours!!! And if we let Him work right away, He'll save us so much of the heartache that plagues the world today. All it takes is the death of our own plans. The death of our own dreams. The death of our own self in a way.

Oh, that's all. NBD.

.....Yeah right!

It's SOOOOOO difficult. It's no small task God puts us up to. Dying to our own wants and plans and aspirations is not easy at all. And so often our plans seem to be so much clearer than God's. They follow a set path. They seem safe. They seem secure. And yeah, God's path seems like taking the old, falling apart bridge shrouded in mist across a giant chasm that's so deep you can't even see the bottom sometimes. Vivid language, I know. (Hey, sometimes I feel like that!) God's way might seem more uncertain. Sometimes it is. But it's so much better than our way!!

God NEVER promised it'd be easy, He only said it'd be worth it.
Trust isn't necessarily something that comes easy to me. At least not with God. Many times I feel like He has me standing on a ledge and is calling "Jump! I'll catch you!" (Metaphorically, of course!) And I really didn't jump before. I might have accidentally done it, but I'd never really trusted before. This summer I jumped. And it was scary, let me tell you. But in all that time I've never been happier. Or more at peace.

Think about it. I could spend time worrying about how things will work out... or I could let go and let God and see where life takes me! I used to spend all this time making decisions and making sure about 50 times that they were ones I really wanted to make - about the tiniest details! Now I just trust that I am where I need to be when I need to be there, as long as I listen to God. Does that mean I'm an expert? HAHAHAHAHAHA.... no. But I'm getting better.

Sorry... long spiel about me there. Point? Trust Him. It's never an easy thing to do. But it'll make you happy beyond your imagination. Lay down your life for Him, and He will take it and make it something so beautiful and so... radiant that your life will be a bright star in the darkness.

Ending song.... hmmm....
OH! PERFECT!
It's time for a classic. Maybe you'll recognize it. God's calling. Answer. Trust His path.
"Here I am Lord"

Here I am Lord
Is it I Lord?
I have heard you
Calling in the night.
I will go, Lord
If you lead me.
I will hold your people in my heart

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Ok ok so maybe I didn't really follow the original topic so well this time around. What can I say? I'm only human.  But then maybe this is what I was supposed to write about in the first place!
I've been a bit distracted because I'm working on the next post already. It's gonna be good!

Sorry again for the delay! Hope all is well and God Bless!

~Wanted~

And On And On It Goes

This is our anthem, we are an Easter people!

I'm baack! Sorry for the long break but I needed it! Had to get away from school for a while and get my head back in the game! It's been a great few weeks and there's so much I need to discuss! I've made so many new friends (Shout out to my friends from Ohio and Florida!!) and learned so many new things that will make me into a better person.

It's gonna take a while, but like I learned, it's time to take the offensive. No more being reactive. No more just sitting and waiting for things to come to me. Now it's time for me to go out and do what I was meant to do.

It's time to.....

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BE BOLD

Where was I? Well I went on something called the Lifeteen Leadership Conference 2012. Me and 504 of my closest friends. ;)  

What did I learn? It's not enough to just exist. It's time to live! It's time to be who we were made to be.

Before this past week, I wasn't really living. Now, don't get scared, I'm not a zombie! XD. I was breathing and going about life, but I didn't know what I was doing. I was sort of going through the motions. I learned this week what it means to live, and how to do it.

Living means dying. YES, I said that. To really live you have to die! Before you do anything radical, I don't mean literally!!!! We have to die to ourselves if we are to truly live. It is in service to others that we can find our own meaning. Sure I want to lay on the couch all day... or just never get out of bed. You know, that sounds really nice! Last night I had this really cool dream about Captain America and... oh ya, off topic... anyways.... Yes I want to spend my days fighting off evil with superheroes safe in my bed but I've been called by God to do something so much more beautiful and special than that. I've been called (as have you!) to fight real evil in the world. I've been called to get up and go spend time with my brothers when all I want to do is lay around. I've been called to do the dishes when I just want a moment to rest. I've been called to help with the lawn when I really want to be practicing on the piano. Dying to myself is hard, but that's what we are called to do.

Life is so much more beautiful when we do.

We have to be bold and and let ourselves go in our daily lives. Doing extra nice things for people throughout the day, especially when they go unnoticed, is one small way to be bold in our everyday lives. There are other ways to be bold too. If you see someone upset, go up to them and offer to pray for or with them. Talk about being bold!

In the movie "We Bought a Zoo" they say that it only takes 20 seconds of insane courage to change a life forever. What if we lived with courage always? Imagine the world we could change! God has taken me and set me on fire for the world, and me and 500 of my best friends are going out into the world and we are going to change it forever.

I know how this sounds, "Oh, he's just coming off of a retreat high, this'll change in a few weeks." But you seem it's not! Well, I'm sure part of it is, but it's also SOOOO much more than that!!! It's a revolution. A generation of people who are finally ready to stand up and take back their faith. Take back the world. Bring the Truth, show the Way, show Love Himself. Yes, it's going to be difficult, but we can be bold because of the Spirit who makes us so. That's what I realized this past week. I could never do what I've been called to do on my own. It's true. And the beautiful reality is, I don't have to, I just have to let the Spirit work within me, and He'll take care of everything.

Being bold and following the right path does not mean that life will be any easier, or that we won't trip up. Haha I know firsthand that tripping is something that will still come naturally. And life being easy? I don't think so! Those who stand out are those who are most often persecuted! Doing that right thing takes guts and the knowledge that you will be persecuted. It's a guarantee! Jesus Himself said so. But He also said "Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you (falsely) because of Me.Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven." Matthew 5:11-12a

Rejoice and be glad. Do what you were meant to do. Be bold! I'll finish up here soon, but one thing remains to be explained...

So why the title? I heard a song over the week called "One Thing Remains".

And on and on and on it goes
it overwhelms and satisfies my soul.
And I'll never ever have to be afraid
One thing remains


Your love never fails
it never gives up
it never runs out on me

I feel like this is the call to be bold. And the way to do it. His love never fails us, and we never have to be afraid to do whatever He calls us to do! Never give up, never back down. BE BOLD.
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I feel like this blog is going to start taking a different direction now, but we'll have to see where it goes! I'll try to start writing more again, and i'll be sure to add to the videos section soon!

I'll leave you with this: do you know what the most repeated phrase in the Bible is? It's not about God's wrath. It's not a warning. It's not a rule.

Be not afraid.

Go out into the world, be who He called you to be. Be not afraid, He goes before you always.

Until next time my friends, God bless!

~Wanted~

We're Watchin.... and We're Waitin

So true

Well friends, plans change, for better or worse. Now you get to spend even MORE time with me this weekend haha. Sometimes things just don't go the way we want them to, you know? We do everything in our power to make them happen and to make everyone happy, but it doesn't always work out. For better or worse, stuff happens, and people let us down. In these cases we have 2 choices: 1. We can let it ruin our day or 2. We can learn to let it go and enjoy what we do have. 

Today's Topic is...

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Disapointment

Wow, even the title on this one is depressing! haha. Well lighten up! It's not the end of the world.... at least not yet anyways! That's a really dumb expression if you think about it, for many reasons. It's never the end of the world until it is, so why worry about it? And is the end of the world such a bad thing? Every end is simply a new beginning after all. But I digress...

We all experience disappointments from time to time. For me it was today. I was supposed to hang out with a friend that I haven't seen in months today, but they cancelled last minute, and now it'll be almost a year until I'll get another chance to hang out with them. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset, but there's more to life than this one friend. 

I've received much advice on this topic in my short lifetime, and much of it has come from people my age. Some of it follows. We can't rely on others for our own happiness. We have to be happy on our own, because like it or not, people let us down. It might not be big things, but people do. God doesn't. He might let us go down paths that we don't understand, and we might not see what He's doing, but He'll never let us down. We can rely on Him for our happiness. And ourselves. No one else can make you happy or sad but you. YOU chose to be happy, YOU chose to be sad. It's up to you, not anyone else.

When we are upset or disappointed, a way to focus on other things is to count our blessings. Yeah, so I don't get a night out, but I've got lots of time to work on other things. I have more time to write now. I have more time to work on my music now. I've got a great family and a great life and great friends (yeah, even the one who let me down). Now I've got time to get ready for work tomorrow. I can get more sleep. Tomorrow I've got a day at Church and with friends and family! I'm blessed with a semi-normal.... scratch that a very weird family (love them haha) that supports me and that cares enough to give me the best education I can get - spiritual and mental. I could go on and on but this isn't (or shouldn't be XD) about me.

I chose the picture today because many of our disappointments come from anticipation. We anticipate something fun and when it doesn't happen we get upset. We anticipate a good grade on a test and when we don't get it, there are consequences. We anticipate people to act one way, and when we don't, we're disappointed. Like the picture, anticipation flouted makes disappointment so much worse. Why? It goes back to, you guessed it...

Hope.

We build up HOPE that something will happen. And what did we say about loss of hope? It is the best and easiest way to crush a person. Putting our hope in the right place can save us from many troubles. Anticipation isn't a bad thing, in fact many times it is the fun. Think of anticipating Christmas as a kid. The anticipation of all those presents just for you under the tree up until Christmas was always the best part. The day itself would come and go in a flash, and the toys would be fun for a few days, but fade into obscurity. But each year the ANTICIPATION of the glorious childhood day was enough to dance through endless dreams and create days of explosive joy as only the mere idea of Christmas can create in the hearts of children. Anticipation happens on journeys. When you travel you anticipate getting to your destination. When you climb a mountain you anticipate getting to the top. When you have a kid you anticipate the night you'll finally be able to get a full, uninterrupted night's rest again. Anticipation is the journey. Often when we travel we meet interesting people and see amazing things, and the destination becomes minimal next to that. A mountain climb might take days, and once you get to the top you have an amazing view, but the exhilaration of getting on top lasts only for a short while, and before you know it you have to climb back down. Still, all that work you did to get there and the journey you took is forever in your memory. While babies are tons of work and can be annoying, as kids grow up you miss the days they'd come to you and say they can't sleep because they had a nightmare. 

In all of those cases anticipation is the journey, and the journey is all the fun. Which is why I say still anticipate things, but be ready to deal with disappointment.

A little bit more on this before I conclude. Disappointment leaves no man untouched. Everyone suffers it at one time or another. But again it is up to us to chose how we deal with it. Me? haha Well I didn't take it the best at first but I'm learning, and tonight I'm going to have fun anyways. I got to spend more time with ya'll for one thing! You? Well that's up to you. 

Don't let disappointment cripple you. Get up and move on. It's not the end of the world... unless it is! haha if that's the case then God be with you! Get it?... you know... cause God.... end of the world.... fire and.... oh never mind! See, take things with a grain of salt! Handle disappointments with humor and move on! Whatever it is it's probably not a big deal anyway.

God has plans for us. Jeremiah 29:11 says: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

God's plans are not our own, and many times we don't understand the challenges He puts into our lives, or why they are there. Sometimes we won't until we see Him in person to ask Him. But He will never lead us astray. Mother Angelica was talking about this the other day on the radio. She said, and I'm paraphrasing here "You know that picnic you really wanted to go to, but it got rained out? You were really disappointed about that. You might even let it ruin your day. But later you look on the news and there was a massive 35 car accident on the route you would've taken, right at the time you would've been driving. God protected you from that. Well, then it turned out to be a pretty good day." VERY much paraphrased, but you get the gist. God takes pains and turns them into blessings. I don't know why He let my friend let me down, but I know that it's for the best. I don't know why He's letting you go through the pain you feel, and maybe even try to hide, right now, but I can promise you that it's for a reason. A good one too. So hang in there, hang on, and let go. Do not hold on to disappointments or give in to the all too tempting sadness and despair they bring with them, but let them go and let God in. Disappointments only have the power to hurt you if you let them. So don't!
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Why the title?
Well, you should know by now I try to include a song! Today's comes from Phineas and Ferb "Watchin' and Waitin' ". I felt it was appropriate for today.

 We're watchin' and we're waitin',
On the edge of our seats, anticipatin'.
It's looking awful permanent,
But we know it could go away.

 Fits doesn't it? Enjoy the anticipation and don't let disappointments down, that's tonight's message!

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

God uses all things for good :)

Stay strong, keep you head held high, and I'll see you soon!
Oh and I'm praying for you, can't forget that!

~Wanted~