What Keeps Us Going

At the dawn of each new day God's mercy is renewed.

AP exams are over! I'm so happy! They were way easier than I thought they would be, so I'm kind of upset I spent so much time worrying about them. St. Padre Pio said that "Worry is useless". Haha I should have listened to him. Sorry I didn't update the rest of the week! I've been kind of sick, and just exhausted from sleep deprivation during exam weeks and preparation. Only 2 weeks left of school then summer! Summer this year is going to be sooo busy. Internships, tutoring, Driver's ed (FINALLY!), multiple retreats, college visits, and tons of other stuff. And of course friends. I've got hope that it'll be a good one though! Actually, that's the perfect lead in for today's topic:

HOPE

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Today's topic I felt should be hope. There is such a lack of hope in the world today. From society. From the media. From ourselves. The world feels today like a cold, stark, barren place where it would be better to give up than to keep trying. At least it seems that way to me at times. This isn't reality. The reality is that hope is everywhere, if we just look for it. The dawn of each new day brings the hope of what's to come. A clean slate. A chance to start over. Each day we are presented a chance, an opportunity to be exactly who we want to be, who we were meant to be. We can begin anew with each day and the hope of tomorrow should be enough to keep people moving forward. A lot of times it's not though. And it's sad that so many people, myself included at times, can ignore the wealth of hope that surrounds each and everyone one of us each day. Like the picture above shows, hope begins anew each day. With that, We'll begin.

One of my favorite books of all time, Pendragon: The Merchant of Death has this passage in it that's stuck with me for a long time: "I remember going on  a hike with my dad once through a forest that had been recently destroyed by fire. We were surrounded by nothing but the burned and black remains of what had once been a wonderful, green thicket. It was sad, until I saw that growing out from beneath a fallen log was a single, green fern leaf. As horrible as the devastation was, this on leaf was proof that one day the forest would return to normal."

To me, that's the perfect picture of hope. That no matter how much the devastation, or how grave things look, something better is coming. Something new. Hope is the belief that things can be better. That you can be a better person. That a life can improve. That the economy can get better. That there's something more to life than this. That death isn't the end. That a forest can grow back from a single tree.

So why hope, why now? Well to be honest it's because hope is quite possibly the hardest and easiest thing for a person to possess. It is the most fragile of all things in existence. It has the power to raise people up or to destroy them entirely, depending on how it is used. It's the easiest thing in the world to get because all it takes is a single sentence, a single word to spark it. A kind gesture. A love note. The promise of a vacation. The beginnings of a new friendship. The list goes on and on. However while hope is so easy to be had, it is the hardest thing in existence to keep. The moment hope is threatened, many times it disappears entirely. A broken heart. A broken promise. A broken dream. Hope can leave you broken if it's used wrong. That's why it's so powerful.

Recently my hope has been tested time and time again. A good friend of mine... well he made a huge mistake that could have cost him his life. He lost his hope. Though honestly I don't think he had any in the first place. Why did God let that happen? I mean don't get me wrong, I'm glad he survived, but why did it have to happen in the first place? One of my best friend's moms died in February. Of all the people in the world, she deserved that least of anyone. She is a saint. Her mother was too. Why did God let that happen? Multiple friends have fallen to drugs and alcohol. Multiple friends have simply disappeared from my life. I've made many mistakes myself.

WHY?

WHY US? WHY NOW? WHY?!?!?!?!!?!??!

That's the question I've been asking. And yet in all this time I've never lost hope. Yes my friend could have died, but he didn't. Yes my friend lost her mom, but she's still here, and that's a blessing in and of itself because I don't know what I'd do without her. Yes people have made mistakes. Yes I have too. But I've learned a hugely important lesson over these past few months.

We are not our past.

A popular Tenth Avenue North song says this very eloquently:

But don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes

You are more than the problems you create

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

There was a time in my life when I almost lost my hope entirely. I didn't believe in love. I didn't believe I was lovable or anyone outside of my family could love me. My hope was gone. All it took was a simple gesture of kindness to pull me out, a friend asking to sit next to me on the bus. Ok so there was a bit more to the story than that, but that's the important parts. But the past doesn't matter. I learned how I was wrong. I learned how I was selfish. I found my hope again.

That was a year ago. Now, with all the tests on my hope that have been, I really wanted to let go again. See, it's so much easier to let go of my hope than to keep fighting and hold onto what I believe in, especially when today's society tends to look down on my beliefs. Again all it took was some words from some friends. They told me that my hope gave them hope. That even though I keep falling down and making mistakes, the fact that I keep getting back up, and not giving up gives them hope.

Hope is not an easy thing to hold. You have to be strong. You have to stand firm. You can't care what others think about your beliefs, but stay strong in them. Your hope will be tested. But out of the fire will come something more beautiful than you could ever have imagined.

Last time we talked about faith deserts. Deserts are where your hope is tested. Keep your hope in the desert. On the other side is something of unimaginable greatness.

I know you're probably getting tired by now, haha so hold on for just a little bit longer.

My favorite verse in the Bible talks about hope, if you think about it.

"No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it."

1 Corinthians 10:13

It's about how we will be tried, but we will be taken care of if our hope is in Him. That's why He let these things happen to me. To you. To everyone. Faith is nothing without testing. Hope is nothing without testing. But like the trials I've faced recently, they all have an ending. The trials have a way out. My friend survived. My other friend is still happy. The druggies etc? While nothing might change now, I've just gotta keep being the example. So do you, at your school, at your work, wherever you are reading this. Be the example. While this might not have any immediate effect on anything, you'll plant the seeds to helping them change their lives.

So stay strong, keep hope.

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The message today:

Hope is hard to have. NEVER LOSE IT. NEVER LET GO. YOU ARE NEVER alone.

Praying for all of you, stay strong, and see ya next time!

~Wanted~