Impossible

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Sometimes life feels like this ^.

Howdy all! No, this post is not the next in the series. Hopefully that post will be coming. When? Absolutely no idea. But recently something has been weighing on my heart, and I just had to write about it today or I was going to burst. 

Ever get caught in a rut? Doing the same things over and over again? Ever just get tired of it all? Well hopefully this post will help a bit. Much of this post is based on a conversation I had with a friend, so keep in mind it's not all my words.

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The Impossible: Enter into the Mystery

Lately I've been struggling, and I know for a fact that it hasn't just been me. If anything, response from my last post proved that for me. The world is in great pain. It heaves and it sobs under the weight of burdens far too great for it to carry. Each and every one of us carries some weight. Something that "nobody should have to deal with". How often have we heard that one? Well, my question is, if nobody has to deal with it, then why do we find ourselves saying those things so often? Why do we so often find ourselves facing the same incomprehensible situations?

Ever been in a situation that seems impossible? Like there's something broken, but you don't know how to fix it? Like there's something wrong, but you can't quite put your finger on it? Like there's too much to do, and not enough time to do it? Like there might be no way to get through whatever it is? I was talking to my friend about this very issue, and they gave me a very strong argument.

First, they used logic. They looked at possible cases of this situation. "First, something's wrong and we know how to fix it" but we have no knowledge of what that problem is. "Secondly, it could be something's wrong, and we just don't know how to fix it. What then? There's not much we can do about that. It could be that we're not meant to fix it, it'll just be fixed over time or it'll be fixed by another." And last that "there could be nothing wrong at all. In which case, we also don't have anything at our disposal that can change what appears to us to be a problem."

My friend is very wise, and gave me a lot to think about. First off, that in all three cases, we just have to trust in God. As I've said before, this is a big deal for me. I like to be in control. I like plans, and schedules. Letting go is rather difficult. Yet for a solution to arrive in any case, trust in God and His plan must be established. Second, the conversation made me think about our perception of things: when we think something is wrong, is it really? Maybe the things we look at as problems are really blessings. Or maybe the things we look at as broken are really fixed, but we just don't see them that way yet. God's ways aren't ours, and sometimes we have to wait, and be patient, to see things the way they were meant to be; the way He made them. Third, it made me think again about trust in God. This trust though was the trust that He is always looking out for us. Just as He uses us to help others, sometimes we have to let Him use others to help us. That is just as much our job as serving others: allowing ourselves to be served. The apostles all had to let Jesus wash their feet, remember? Sometimes God wants us to back down and give others a chance to serve Him. We need to let God be God more often.

Then, as the conversation was ending, my friend told me this: "It reminds me of people alive when Jesus was on earth and witnessed miracles and still had doubts. We are expected to believe the impossible
but its the impossible that makes it possible I guess. It's what God does best, making anything possible." That was the most profound thing, far more than what was discussed above. My friend didn't know it, but I sat thinking about those few lines for quite a while. I think they touched on something very important.

We take the Gospels and the stories of the Bible for granted. We know that Jesus rose on the third day. We know that He performed lots of miracles. We know what He means when He talks about eating His flesh and drinking His blood. And it is this familiarity that allows us to yawn in Mass when these things are said (I do it all the time too...). But my friend's words made me think about the apostles, and how many impossible things there were stood up against. Think about it. You expect the Messiah to be a military leader, and instead you get a carpenter. You listen to preachings all day, and you just want to go home when your Messiah essential says "Get over here, I'm going to feed this massive group of people with this crazy tiny amount of food." I wouldn't be surprised if some of the apostles were like "Yeah, right. I think Jesus has been in the sun for a little too long today." Even after seeing Him turn water into wine, and do other miraculous things, it would be a stretch. And even after that, some of His remarks might just make them laugh out of the sheer absurdity. Could you imagine being told "Hey ya'll, I'm the chosen one the your Lord has promised you for thousands of years. I'm going to hand myself over, be tortured, get killed, but be it'll all be cool because I'll be back in three days." I could only imagine their reactions: "If He wasn't in the sun too long BEFORE, He definitely has been now.""Alright, maybe it's a metaphor?""I'm lost here, what's going on?" etc. It was a LOT to swallow. Even Peter was like "Jesus you're crazy!"We look at these reactions today and we laugh, but what would we have done in their places, honestly?

 And then there's the whole "You won't have eternal life unless you eat my flesh and drink my blood" thing. Today we understand that that's the Eucharist. But the apostles didn't have that 20/20 hindsight. They were hearing a teaching that sounded like Jesus telling them to become essentially vampires. And they knew Jesus was being serious because He ALWAYS tried to explain Himself further when He thought He was being misunderstood. This time He didn't. He let people walk away. And so the apostles knew that He meant what He said. They didn't understand it. It was an impossible teaching. It was seemingly against natural law, and yet they stayed. "Master, to whom shall we go?" they said. It was impossible. And maybe it made their hearts hurt, but they knew that somehow, someday, it would all make sense. He was their Lord and He would not let them down. Then how much more miraculous must Easter have been! How much more could those days when He appeared to them in His glorified body and explained things to them must those days have meant! "Ohhhh, it all makes sense now!" they'd say, and maybe even have a good laugh about it.

Today we don't have to trust in all of that because we know the whole story. My friend made me think that maybe, just maybe, when we encounter these impossible situations, God is allowing us in our modern day to enter into the eternal Mystery of who He is in a more complete way. He can't surprise us in the ways that He did the apostles. And so He does it through modern things. He asks us to accept impossible problems, situations, or tasks. He asks us to just trust Him when He says it will all be alright. In giving us these things He gives us an opportunity to be just like the first apostles: fully reliant on Him because of who He is. And trusting that when all is said and done it will all make sense. It couldn't have been easy for the apostles those 3 years. But they never left. No matter how bad things got, no matter how strange or hard to hear, they stuck it out and didn't give up. And their payout was greater than their wildest dreams. God wants us to have the same opportunity to trust Him as they did. And so He grants us these impossible things as gifts, opportunities to trust in His love, and share it with others.

Maybe these aren't the answers you're looking for. They might not even be the right ones at all. But they gave me something to think about, and they might for you as well. God never promised our lives would be easy. He just promised to walk with us. No matter where that path leads, He's there. The impossible might not be fixable. It might be your cross. It might be a path you have to always walk as long as you live. But He'll carry it with you. He'll walk with you. And in them He gives you the opportunity to trust and love Him in as deep a way as the first apostles did.

So walk with your head held high, even when that seems to much. Take just one more step, no matter how weak you're feeling. Because the impossible is really possible in the end. Like my friend said, "It's what God does best, making anything possible.
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Your verse for today is 1 Corinthians 10:13. Maybe your way out won't come until you are back with Him in heaven, but as He promised, He will always be with you.

The song for tonight is "You have me" by Gungor. Give it a listen. And repeat as necessary anytime you feel like things are too much. Your impossible might still be there. But He is too. Give yourself to Him. That's what He's there for. Your impossible is meant to draw you closer to His heart. So when things get the toughest tell Him "You still have my heart."

Out on the farthest edge
There in the silence
You were there

My faith was torn to shreds
Heart in the balance
But you were there

Always faithful
Always good
You still have me
You still have my heart

I thought I had seen the end
Everything broken
But you were there

I've wandered heaven's gates
I've made my bed in hell
But you were there still

Always faithful
Always good
You still have me
You still have my heart

You have me
You have me
You have my heart completely

I love you all. 

I'm praying for you.

Until next time,

~Wanted~

Infinite Worth: Part 1: Invisible (See Me)

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Howdy! I've written a lot of unpublished posts lately, and the intro is always the hardest part. Once I get the ball rolling, the post writes itself. I'm pretty sure that's God's doing. He's the boss. I just write what He's telling me. I honestly thing these posts come out exactly when they need to, for you all and for me. And maybe sometimes I write only for myself. I feel like that's been happening a lot lately. But in the hopes that this will one day make it to you all, I'm writing this intro.

So tonight I'm starting the first post in a new series about the dignity and worth of every person. I know I've talked about it before, but this series will hopefully be a little different. It's all about truly seeing people, and seeing them as God does. Tonight is about seeing those who often go unnoticed. Or seeing those who don't see themselves. Enjoy!

There. That seems long enough. But you know, sometimes things aren't what they seem. Sometimes people say they're fine, and they're really not. I've seen that too many times, and it really eats at my heart. And so tonight wanted entertains you with...

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Infinite Worth:

Invisible: I Just Want to Be Seen

It's 8:30pm, and we've been in the restaurant for over an hour now. We ordered an hour earlier, and our food still hasn't gotten there. We finally get a hold of a waitress, and she says she'll get right on it. Turned out the food had been ready for a long time, they had just forgotten about us. Some of it had even gone cold, or wasn't fully cooked. The manager completely ignored us, and we ended up having to do something else for dinner. My family is invisible. It's ironic because we're all so tall, and not exactly quiet. But things like this happen to my family, and to me, all the time.

They say don't sweat the small things, and I really try not to. But sometimes there comes a point when the small things become a big thing. When every day you say hello to people, and they don't even acknowledge you. When you ask someone a question and they either don't hear you or don't bother to answer. When you're in a crowded room full of friends and it's like you're not even there. Now individually none of these are anyone's fault. I'm just as guilty at all of these as anyone else. But when they happen to you all the time, they start grating away at your soul. When someone else ALWAYS gets the girl. Or the girl never saw you that way. When, even among people you know, you feel unseen. Being invisible is tough.

I don't bring up all of that for pity, or even for acknowledgement. I bring it up because I know that I'm not the only one. I know that I'm loved, even if I don't always feel it. I know that I'm seen, even if I'm not always acknowledge. But some people don't have that. They are invisible, like me, but they are never seen. They are alone. Or at least they think they are. And they don't know how much they matter yet.

It took me forever to know that I wasn't invisible. Sometimes I still feel that way. When you're constantly overlooked, even when people don't do it on purpose, it's tough to keep you're head on straight. It took years of God working on my heart and preparing me for the love that He wanted to give me for me to get to this point (see post about accepting God's love). This past summer God blessed me with a group of people beyond my wildest dreams. Through them he finally got through to me that I'm seen, even if I don't feel it. One of them told me this, and I'll never forget it: "Just because your actions don't have an apparent effect, that doesn't make them any lest significant. Just because people don't outwardly glorify something doesn't mean it goes unnoticed." I had thought that because people didn't always acknowledge me, it meant that they weren't seeing me. God revealed to me, through them, this summer that I couldn't have been more wrong. They didn't think they had to say anything. And they didn't.

So many people today believe that they go unnoticed. They believe that they are invisible. They let this weigh on their hearts, and they carry this burden alone. And it brings them down to the ground. But ask them how they're doing, and they'll just say "fine" or "good" or something like that. They don't let you see how much it's actually bugging them. I think part of that is because they want the validation that they are actually seen; that someone can tell that they are wrong (masks, remember?). I do think what my friend told me is true, but I also think that we've got to tell people that. People need to know that they are noticed, even if others don't say it. I think that many MANY hearts can be healed that way.

There are some simple ways to show people that you see them. Ask them how they're doing, and mean it. I'm writing a whole separate blog post just on this topic. Ask "How are you, really?" You have no idea what an impact this can have on those who don't see their own worth. Don't judge. Don't offer to give them advice, just sit there and listen. A priest at my church said it a couple weeks ago. Be ready to be there. After you ask, "be ready to sit there and listen for the next three hours, if that's what it takes." Having someone actually take interest in you can change your entire outlook on life. I CANNOT stress this enough. Second, do small nice things for people, even random strangers. Random acts of kindness, however cliche it may sound, really can change the world. Third, talk to that kid who's alone, or the silent one. Yes, they may just be an introvert, in which case you can walk away and leave them be. But they might just be shy, or yearning for human contact, but again wishing for the validation of being seen.

Sometimes I still have trouble knowing that I'm seen. But even if no reminder comes, I know that God loves me, I know that I matter, and I know that I'm seen. Even if no one says anything, I'm making a difference. You don't always see the rock that causes the ripples in the water. But the ripples spread all over, and the rock is still there, even if no one sees it.

A friend of mine mentioned someone that she thought perfectly exemplified this, and I completely agree: St. Joseph. Here's the man who was chosen to be the Step-father of our Lord. He had to endure public scandal because everyone knew that Jesus wasn't His. He had to live His live as the only member of His family who could sin. I'm sure that was incredibly tough at times. He's barely mentioned in the Bible and yet he had such a profound influence on Jesus as a youth and a young man. Here is the man God chose to protect His son, and watch over Jesus' mother, and we know almost nothing about him. Most of what he did, and the changes he made in their lives will never be known, and yet the echoes of his actions still ripple through the world to this day. Joseph wasn't seen either. And look at what he did. No one could say that wasn't a big deal.

If you're struggling with being seen, remember that there is a Lord who always sees you. Turn to St. Joseph, the selfless servant. And know that you are seen, and do matter, even if it doesn't feel like it.

In the next part I'll talk about seeing yourself as God sees you, and knowing what it means to really see another.
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"I want a moment to be real, wanna touch things I don't feel, wanna hold on and feel I belong"
-I'm Still Here by Jonny Rzesnik

Help others have that moment. See people. Don't let them remain invisible.

Instead of a verse tonight, a thought:
Jesus spent most of His life as a carpenter, working, and living a normal life. He wasn't acknowledged, and lived in relative obscurity, and He is God! Even Jesus Himself wasn't always seen. Bring that trouble to Him. He knows what it's like, and He can help you.

Until Next Time,
Know that I love you and am praying for you!

~Wanted~